Tolerate

So it looks like my sister doesn't have this new disease afterall. Whew! I was so fricken happy I almost started crying again. She is just a stressed out overworked above and beyond kid.

I got back from the conference yesterday and slept a solid 9 hours which is a rare amount of sleep. I also managed to get up on time 9:00 which is also rare and amazing. I had breakfast, took a shower, and ran some errands all before my first class at 11:00! I feel pretty good today.

The conference was fun, although I did fall asleep during several of the lectures, heh. I then began to furiously take notes so as not to fall asleep. Turns out our group of 3 Jessica's and an Ameliah were the only undergrad.s at the entire thing. I think the most important thing I took away from the conference was how people who do research interact and how they communicate what they are doing. Unfortunately I didn't get to go to the banquet so I missed the drunkeness if there was any. The reception was very short so not enough time for anyone to get seriously drunk. It was good to see a group of people who read each other's papers and know who everyone is in reference to the papers interact. There were several laughing moments where I laughed along and then I thought oh god no normal person in society would understand this.

My title has to do with me and how sometimes I just really don't like people for whatever reason. I can't handle when people don't pay attention and ask a million questions interrupting the person who is explaining. Sometimes I just want to say shut the fuck up you silly bitch. But that isn't very appropriate and not very nice. This last trip I had a hard time being nice to two of the five people that went.

Spring is here early and if anything it feels like summer. It's cool with me I just wish the air conditioning was on.

-J.

Tortas!

So today has been an interesting day, my boyfriend and I were both crabby and not feeling well even though we insist on still being around each other. Meh.

His mom is being a jerk. She took $500 from him without asking and doesn't want to pay it back and turns everything around on him. So he is in a delightful mood because of this. Parents gah! I am so glad I am over all that crap, if not most of it. I am glad I finally get along with my mom.

Anyways his financial toils have reminded me of my own. I have no money. Oh wait 18 in savings and 12 in checking. I managed to pay my bills this month but what about next month? And in the mean time I have absolutely no money in case of emergency or for food. Booooooooo.

Tomorrow I am going to souther IL. to attend an env'tal Arch. conference. It should be interesting and I am hoping more so than the class itself. Another archaeology professor of mine said the smaller conferences are more drunk than the bigger ones. Archaeologists if anyone does not know are well known for their drunken adventures at conferences. For example the SAA (Society for American Archaeology) was kicked out of St. Louis for 15 years because of the drunken fighting and parties that occured during it. What amazes me is the majority of these people have PhD.s or are in the process of obtaining one and are professors! Oh archaeology.

The title of my post is the name of a delicious Mexican sandwich that I am currently craving. They are the best and everyone should eat them.

-J.

silliness

So there are kids protesting on my campus. Notice I say ON campus. My campus is two blocks big and has the population of an average high school. So what is the point of protesting the war on campus where most of the students already agree with you? Is there really a purpose? Don't you think you could do a whole lot better than that considering the capital is not so far away? seriously.

-J.

so Unfair

So my little sister has been troubled medically since she was very little. It seems like it won't end. A few years ago they figured out her heart was beating oddly and could cause a deadly heart attack without medication. Now it looks like along with that she could have something much more serious and life shortening. I just can't understand why. Why my baby sister. She is so fucking amazing and intelligent and deserves the best of everything. why her and not some undeserving drunk fucker drug using piece of shit worthless to society asshole?? Why her? It's so Unfair. I can't use words to explain or even touch on how devestating this is, how much it hurts and worries. I think most frustrating is it is lifelong and can't be cured. With treatment she could possibly live a normal life but totally compromised by it. I know how Unfair life is I know I know I know I know but I still just can't accept it. Just fuck why can't it stop why can't things stay good or better? Atleast for her. Dammit! Fuck!

-J.

Back on Campus

Spring break is really not all it's cracked up to be. I remember my freshman year when spring break came around and we were all like ok so where do we go? what do we do? And then reality set in and we all went home. hahahaha. MTV makes it seem like everyone goes down to Mexico for spring break, not quite.

I am glad I went home. I stayed with my grandma and it was a lot of fun, free food, and a place to sleep. I am a homebody so my grandma didn't do much worrying cause by the time she got off work at 11p.m. I was already there.

I also got to see some of my cousins, my sister and mom. It was a nice few days. It is also good to be back.

I would like to live off campus but I don't know how I would go about doing this. Especially considering I don't work more than 10 hours a week. I wish there was housing that allowed students to have pets, that's all I really want. Animals are such a stress relief.

The rest of this semester is going to be hard because the weather is starting to get nicer. I just can't believe it's half over already. I like taking things day by day. But it's crazy to think back on how long I have been in college etc.

It was super weird being back home because I was living and working there for 8 months just like any other average jane. When I was there I didn't want to leave but now that I am back on campus I don't want to go back home.

I had a dream the other night that I was pregnant and had a baby and I woke up totally happy and rested. It was strange considering I have always said I don't want children. I think part of that stemmed from the father figures I had growing up. I saw my mom doing everything by herself and I decided I didn't want children. But now that I have a boyfriend and I see how amazing he is with kids, I dunno.

-J.

1:22

I have been tired all day and I just can't seem to fall asleep.

I am looking forward to visiting family. Especially my grandma whom I will be staying with. She has two black cats who both have yellow eyes. Sometimes you can't tell them apart so she usually feeds one cat treats twice. Then she gets mad and yells at the cat.

I have writer's block and it's a fucking blog.

-J.

Trying not to make eye contact with my bed.

So it is about quarter after midnight and I am about half-way done with my 10 page paper. I should have never taken this class. boo to thousand year old carbonized seeds. I am sorry they really don't turn me on.

on another note, Jill should be coming to visit me this weekend and I am very excited about it. It should be deviously fun.

I will be in Appleton/Menasha for part of spring break. I plan on coming back early because I totally bombed a test and he amazingly gave us the opportunity to retake it. So I will be doing that for the rest of my break.

My boyfriend threw up in my room today, bad fettucine alfredo. I felt bad cause I was just sitting there and I didn't really know how to help him. It's not like he has hair I can hold back. Garbage cans are wonderful for puke and such. I think he is kinda crabby cause he doesn't feel good but it could also be school stress. hmm.

I really don't have much to say.
-J